Possession
by Madison Azari
Summary: A songfic. Shinji thinks about his time spent with Kaworu at the place where they first met. S/K


Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion or the song "Possession" by Sarah Mclachlan.  
  
A/N: This takes place around the end of episode of 24, however I changed it a little bit to make it more interesting. This is a YOAI! So if you don't like, then please don't read. I don't want to offend you. While I might make a sequel, it depends if you want that. That's it so enjoy! And please r&r. Thanx.  
  
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//Listen as the wind blows  
  
From across the great divide  
  
Voices trapped in yearning  
  
Memories trapped in time//  
  
It was over. Everything that he had believed was a lie and the one who meant the most to him was gone.  
  
Ikari Shinji stood in front of the vast lake where he had met him, his so called "savior". Nagisa Kaworu was his name, or more likely known to the rest of mankind and NERV as the 17th angel Tabris.  
  
It seemed like just yesterday that Shinji had met Kaworu for the first time at the same lake. Kaworu had been humming "Ode To Joy", telling Shinji, "that a song is good, it revitalizes the soul".  
  
A few tears fell down Shinji's face while thinking about that time. Everything here reminded him of Kaworu and coming back here with Misato after he had killed him had just made things worse. Of course Shinji didn't tell Misato this, for she was just trying to make him feel better.  
  
The only thing left to do was be alone. It was the only way to try and get over this and make things right. However, memories of their time spent together kept flashing through Shinji's mind, leaving him on wits end.  
  
//The night is my companion  
  
And solitude my guide  
  
Would I spend forever here  
  
And not be satisfied//  
  
Memories of their time spent together.  
  
After the synch tests were over Shinji was in no mood to go home. Asuka had become to quiet for comfort and Misato was no longer her cheery self, but a woman who only knew pain.  
  
Sitting down and taking his player out, Shinji's ears were once again filled with music. Because of this and being lost in though, Shinji was unaware when Kaworu walked up to him.  
  
Finding this quite amusing and cute, Kaworu decided not to disturb Shinji, so he instead he stood in front of him and smiled. This Shinji did notice and a deep blush showed up on his pale checks.  
  
After a few moments of conversation and explanations both boys agreed to go to the showers. together.  
  
As they were washing up Kaworu kept giving Shinji small shy glances.  
  
//And I would be the one  
  
To hold you down  
  
Kiss you so hard  
  
I'll take your breath away  
  
And after I'd wipe away the tears  
  
Just close your eyes dear//  
  
Seeing that they were both finishing up Kaworu decided to finally speak.  
  
" You are afraid of first contact. You had are afraid that if you fall no one will be there to catch you. But you are wrong,"  
  
"I don't understand," Shinji confessed.  
  
"I'm saying you're afraid of loving and being loved," Kaworu replied.  
  
"Me?" Shinji mustered.  
  
"I'm telling you I love you," Kaworu said smiling and touching Shinji's hand.  
  
This time he did not pull away. However, he did flinch at fist, but nonetheless he moved into the touch embracing it. Moments later the lights went off and it was time to go.  
  
//Through this world I've stumbled  
  
So many times betrayed  
  
Trying to find an honest word  
  
To find the truth enslaved//  
  
Not wanting to go home and wanting to stay with Kaworu, Shinji asked to spend the night at his place. To his surprise and delight Kaworu said yes.  
  
Now, here they lay, one on the bed the other on the floor.  
  
Feeling bad for intruding Shinji had taken the floor and Kaworu ended up on the bed.  
  
Turning to face Shinji Kaworu spoke softly, " Is there something that you want to tell me?"  
  
  
  
//Oh you speak to me in riddles  
  
And you speak to me in rhyme  
  
My body aches to breathe your breath  
  
Your words keep me alive//  
  
Contemplating whether to say something or not Shinji paused. Yet, when looking at Kaworu and in his eyes he knew that it would be all right if he spoke his mind.  
  
So minutes passes of Shinji speaking his mind and Kaworu listening intensely. Then he spoke, " Do you hate mankind?"  
  
"No, just my father," Shinji quickly replied.  
  
The silence throughout the room was broken by the tiny sobs coming from Shinji after his confession.  
  
//And I would be the one  
  
To hold you down  
  
Kiss you so hard  
  
I'll take your breath away  
  
And after I'd wipe away the tears  
  
Just close your eyes dear//  
  
Moving off the bed Kaworu crept down and held Shinji in his arms, telling him that it was going to be all right.  
  
Without knowing what he was doing Shinji moved his face just inches away from Kaworu's. In matter of seconds their lips were locked in a passionate kiss and all the love both could muster up was put into the kiss.  
  
Slowly and carefully Kaworu moved on top of Shinji, still kissing, began to remove both of their clothes.  
  
After they let their passion run wild, they slept happily in each other's arms. One in pure bliss and the other in pure agony. Hurting the one he loved was something that just tore him apart.  
  
Kaworu did not sleep that night. He spent the whole time watching Shinji, so he could remember every little detail about him. He loved him with all his heart.  
  
//Into this night I wander  
  
It's morning that I dread  
  
Another day of knowing of  
  
The path I fear to tread//  
  
When the rays of light hit the boys, they both knew it was time to go. Taking their time they walked slowly to NERV HQ's, while holding hands.  
  
The ones who saw this and knew them smiled, others just looked away. Nevertheless, they all could see the love these two shared.  
  
When they got to NERV they had to split up.  
  
Minutes later the alarms were going off and Eva-02 was on its way to Terminal Dogma.  
  
After being found by Misato and updated on the situation at hand, Shinji was forced to go in Eva-01 and fight Kaworu.  
  
The mere though of it tore him apart. He had been betrayed once again and it pissed him off to no end.  
  
//Oh into the sea of waking dreams  
  
I follow without pride  
  
Nothing stands between us here  
  
And I won't be denied//  
  
Fighting Eva-02 had been the hardest thing that Shinji had ever done.  
  
Once Shinji had beaten the Eva, he found Kaworu standing before the crucified angel.  
  
Turning around to face Shinji, Kaworu moved towards him. While doing so he was captured in Eva-01's hand.  
  
Moments later Kaworu told Shinji that he didn't want him to die and that he should die instead.  
  
Not wanting to, Shinji involuntarily killed Kaworu as the tears came rushing out from his eyes.  
  
//And I would be the one  
  
To hold you down  
  
Kiss you so hard  
  
I'll take your breath away  
  
And after I'd wipe away the tears  
  
Ust close your eyes dear//  
  
  
  
The tears once again came flowing down Shinji's face as he remembered the gruesome fate he was handed.  
  
The wind blew by ruffling Shinji's hair, in what seemed an affectionate way.  
  
A feeling of warmth suddenly came over of Shinji as the wind blew and somehow he knew that he was not alone.  
  
The feeling made him feel loved again and as he stared back out into the lake he could have sworn he saw a shadow.  
  
Thinking that Kaworu would not want to see him so hurt, Shinji left the lake with thoughts of love and maybe one day having happenings again.  
  
Days later Ikari Shinji was forced to make yet another life altering decision. Before doing so he made his way to the lake where he first met Kaworu, hoping to clear his thoughts.  
  
While he was there he took out his player and "Ode To Joy" filled his mind.  
  
Maybe the answer would come through this, maybe not.  
  
However, the words of Kaworu came to mind and Shinji finally understood what he meant.  
  
Music can revitalize the soul. And at that time Shinji closed his eyes and let it overcome him.  
  
//I'll hold you down  
  
Kiss you so hard  
  
I'll take your breath away  
  
And after I'd wipe away the tears  
  
Just close your eyes//  
  
~ Fin ~  
  
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End file.
